When you don’t know what to say

Writing has taken a back seat with the business of life, but maybe I was just avoiding writing the words and processing the grief. I wasn’t sure that I knew what to say. Each time, each experience is different, but still something that I’d rather avoid. We go to the funeral, we say the words, give the hugs, but is that enough? Just wish it was something you could avoid and going through the motions would make it all better. But it doesn’t.

Songs bring grief to the surface, even when you try to push it far down. Each time I hear “Memories” by Maroon 5, I’m reminded of those who aren’t here on Earth. Maybe you are too, or maybe you have your own song that takes you back to a different time. To a beautiful memory, and a horrible knowing that you won’t experience new memories with this person in this lifetime.

My sister’s best friend and my friend, Sara passed away on March 2nd after a quick battle with cancer. 7 months, but the time goes way too fast. The unknown, the hope, and coming to terms with a smile you will only see in your mind. My sister kept me updated on Sara’s journey, so even though I wasn’t there, I knew some details and the hope and positive outlook that Sara carried until the end.

You keep going and celebrate new moments, but sometimes you have to stop and process the grief. Cry. Allow yourself to be and know there will be moments that you don’t feel your best. You’d rather keep moving, but sometimes you have to sit still or write or just breathe. I haven’t really known what exactly to say about Sara’s passing. Guess there really aren’t perfect words for times like these. Sara had so much life, and was a true Boilermaker. Her love for Purdue, passion, and light will be remembered by all those who were lucky enough to know her and call her a friend. Love you, Sara, and until we meet again, Ever grateful, Ever true! and Boiler up!

2 thoughts on “When you don’t know what to say

  1. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your friend Sara. My condolences and prayers are with you, your sister and Sara’s family. Thank you for sharing and helping others better understand different periods of grief.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Tamika. Appreciate you reaching out! You are so welcome. Grief can definitely come in waves (like the say), and happy to be other to help others on their own journey. 💕


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