In the end, it doesn’t even matter

In the end, it doesn’t even matter

In the end, it doesn’t even matter.  All the fear, the arguments, the being right.  Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, I’d rather be happy than right.  I would agree with him.  When you have left this earth,  what matters is how you lived your life and the connections that you made.  People will remember how you made them feel and the words that you said. Are you choosing to lead with ego and fear, or authenticity and love?  

I’m sure we have all witnessed relationship stress.  Not only does it affect those directly involved, but it also affects their loved ones.  Many times, it’s miscommunication and the need to defend our views and to be right.  To me, it’s a  waste of time and energy to worry about others’ opinions and what they are thinking.  I’m not saying that I don’t worry about these at times, but I do have the awareness to know that it’s not in my best interest when I do.  We can’t control others thoughts and feelings, but we can control OUR own reactions.  It is good to see different perspectives, but when you connect with your intuition, you are the only one who can decide the best path for yourself.

I’ve been in a unique position of losing 3 of my loved ones in a short period of time, with little or no warning.  As the pandemic hit, I witnessed uncertainty, fear and unknown.  And through it all, I knew that it could be so much worse.  I know this pandemic has hit many people very hard, but in comparison to losing my family members, it’s just different.  What matters is those friends and family who have supported and reached out to me.  What matters is how I feel in the current moment, and giving myself the grace to treat myself as my best friend treats me.  

So, I invite you to take a look at where your mental energy is going.  Are you reliving negative conversations in your mind, or expecting the worse?  Are you thinking about your next step to prove that you are right?  Or, are you treating yourself and others kindly and understanding that we are all growing and learning in this new landscape?  That we all are doing the best that we can with the life experiences that we have been given?

Thank you for reading, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

When the time comes, will you be ready?

When the time comes, will you be ready?

When the time comes, will you be ready?  When the opportunity to share your story arises, will you speak?  Each moment, each day is preparation. Sometimes, we don’t even know the reason we are preparing. We train for the race we signed up for. We study for the test that is next week.  But sometimes, the exams come when we least expect it.  Life can give us moments that we aren’t ready for, but how will we choose to show up?

When my uncle passed away in August 2018, I wasn’t ready. When my Grandma passed away in June 2019, I wasn’t ready.  And when my Dad passed away in December 2019, I wasn’t ready.  But I wonder, was I more prepared? Being more familiar with the funeral home, being involved in collecting photos for the picture boards, seeing my cousin lose her Dad.  Did these things make me more prepared?  Unfortunately, yes.

I’d seen and felt the grief. I was still going through the process when another tidal wave hit. I knew more.  I knew that it’s okay to cry for no reason.  I knew that I had to be gentle and patient with myself.  I knew that my loved ones who were above would want me to grieve, and then get back to being me, even if I didn’t feel like it.  I knew that I needed to go to work as a distraction and see my friends and coworkers.  I knew that I needed to do something different.  And I knew when friends and acquaintances lost a loved one,  I’d be prepared to talk or send them cute inspirational messages.  I could be there when others weren’t sure what to say.

It’s interesting, we go through life, and have no idea when our conversations with others or our previous experiences can come to our mind to help us or someone else.  I think the best thing we can do is keep going, and show up with an open mind and open heart.  Knowing, that it’s all unknown.  Knowing, that we are doing our best, in our current moment.  Knowing, that life gives us tests, and that even the bad experiences have a purpose in our journey.  How you show up for yourself matters. You deserve the best, so be kind to yourself.  Be present.  Take time to call your loved ones. Set boundaries that are healthy for yourself and others.  And know, there is a purpose for your life, even if you aren’t sure what it is quite yet.  You have the voice to speak your truth.  You have the light to share.  So when the time comes, will you be ready?        

Comparison is a trap… Don’t fall for it

Comparison is a trap… Don’t fall for it

You’ve heard the saying that comparison is a trap.  Even more today as social media makes it so easy to compare our reality to the reality on our screen. We forget that photoshop exists, and our mind believes what we see. It’s easy to compare our now to someone else’s now.  But, do we know the whole story?  Our life experiences have brought us each to a certain point in our lives, and really, there is no comparison.

The only thing that we can compare is how we are showing up in the world.  Maybe you wake up a little early and have a little more time to make it to work.  Awesome job.  Maybe you sleep in and hurry out the door.  Good job, you got out of the door.  Be kind to yourself.  Even if you compare yourself to the version that you want to be, remember you are human and deserve grace.  You deserve to treat yourself like your best friend would treat you.  What words are filling your mind?  Negative or uplifting thoughts?

I recently saw a friend’s social media post that she had recently run a mile in 7:30.  First of all, awesome!  Second of all, I don’t think I could do that… it’s been forever since I’ve run that fast!  Third, well, if she can do that, I can too.  Well, I can at least run a mile.   So, I used her running to motivate myself to put on my running shoes, find a new trail, and just get going.  And I realized that I really enjoy it, and it’s so nice to get outside and exercise.  Did I run a mile in 7:30?  No.  Will I run a mile in 7:30?  Maybe, but I’m not really sure that’s my goal.  And, as I was running up and down hills, I realized that I didn’t even know the running conditions or terrain my friend ran her mile on. My friend had definitely been training, and I have no idea how long she had been running in order to achieve that time. What’s the use of comparing my first day running up and down hills to her run?  My path is filled with many turns, and unless I ask her, I have no idea what her path is filled with.  So, the comparison doesn’t even make sense.

It’s also important to listen to your intuition and know your next best step. Listen to what feels best for you.  I was once hiking with some friends, and they chose to run up a big hill.  I wasn’t feeling it, and I decided to take the slower paced scenic walk.  They got up the hill faster and got more of a cardio workout, and that’s awesome because it was their goal.  When I took the slower journey, I saw the butterflies, frogs and flowers that they missed.  My goal was to be more present and take it all in, and I achieved that.  Is either way better than the other?  No, we both got to the top, and we both had different goals for our journey.  That’s the cool thing about our lives.  We get to choose our journey and pace.  And know that some days racing feels great, but some days a slow and steady pace is what we need.  EIther way, you are exactly where you need to be at this moment.

So, the next time you begin to compare yourself to someone else or even the person that you think you should be, take a moment to pause. We have no idea what is going on in anyone else’s lives unless we ask. We may see others at the top of their game, but we missed out all the hours and tears they put in. You are doing great. You are doing better than you think you are. And I bet someone is watching. And you may not realize it, but you may be inspiring someone else. How are you showing up in the world? Are you giving yourself the grace that we all deserve? Are you doing your best, and knowing that your best one day may mean something completely different the next day. Keep on going. You can do it.

Podcast episode below:)