Everything ends. Meet me on the Equinox.

Everything ends. The words from Death Cab for Cutie’s “Meet me on the Equinox” have been echoing through my mind the last few days.  A cue for me to write.  Today’s the equinox, the time when light and dark meet in balance.  It also happens to be my half birthday, something I once celebrated with friends, but tonight I ran under a cloudy Carolina sky during a break in the storm.  The freedom to run and the freedom to get fresh air was the perfect celebration to start the new season.

This week, I had a zoom night with some friends from Purdue, and today pictures from our winery trip popped up in my memories on Facebook (“The Facebook” if you want to get technical and go back many years). 13 years ago in the picture, still friends, but now living very different lives.  The balance between life and work and fun is different. Living in the same house, and even the same state has ended, but our friendship remains.

Recently, I talked to my niece who is a college freshman and her plans for the week were studying and hanging out with friends.  I remember those days where the biggest worry was the presentation in Comm114 or what to wear to the next party at Gemini.  Or if we were going to be able to all wake up in time for stadium clean up.  Her college time is just beginning.  My college time has ended, but the memories and friendships remain.

Years later, there are new and old characters in my life.  Some who I’ve known my whole life, and some who have never met my family.  I still rock a Purdue hoodie when I can, but I’m sometimes surprised to find that I have Tar Heel shirts in my closet as well. Got to be ready for an invite to a football or basketball game!  And I recently bought a PU crop top…why not? 😉 Since college, I’ve experienced grief and the waves of loss that come with that.  Different landscapes, different seasons, but the love of experiencing something new remains.

Last night I had a dream and my Dad (who is now in heaven) was there. He wanted to get a picture of everyone at Thanksgiving.  My family is big, and he got out a set of bleachers so that we could all have a picture together.  He was very adamant about getting a picture of us together.  Waking up, I realized it may be because everything changes and he really wanted us to have the picture to remember our celebration. His last big holiday with us all was Thanksgiving 2019, and if we are able to get together this year, eventually those in the picture will change.  Wish I had a picture of us all at his last Thanksgiving with us. As time goes on, the memories of the good times and homemade noodles will remain.

So, as we go into the darker nights, the cooler weather, enjoy the experiences.  Enjoy the people who are with you, and know that even the trials and tribulations we are all experiencing will soon be a memory.  Take time to get out after dark and resist the urge to put on your pajamas at 7:30.  That’s a personal reminder to myself!  As the ebbs and flows of the seasons change, embrace the change.  Get cozy with a pumpkin spice latte and call up a friend.  Or better yet, visit a friend.  Try something new and enjoy the new season.  Balance the best you can and rest when you need to.  And in 6 months, as I begin another trip around the sun, meet me on the equinox. 🙂       

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