Intuition always tells the truth

Intuition always tells the truth

Intuition. It’s always there, guiding us, protecting us.   Everyone has it, and everyone has the ability to tune in.  It’s that nudge within us that defies logic, and tells you which way to go.  Sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it’s banging on the door.  Either way, it invites you to listen.  When we pay attention, we can be rewarded and amazed. But if we don’t, we can be kicking ourselves later, wishing we had listened to that small voice inside our head. Our intuition wants to be heard so that it can reveal its secrets to us. Intuition always tells the truth.

I love it when I can connect the dots back of why I made a decision that turned out in my favor.  I hate it when I know that I should have listened to my heart, but didn’t.  Those are the times that hurt the most.  One example of not listening to my inner guidance was during a visit to Indiana. I chose to hang out with a friend, when my soul wanted to spend an evening with my Grandma Fellure. Watching TV and catching up with her sounded like the perfect night.  However, I already had plans with my friend, and knew I would see my Grandma later that weekend, so I chose to go with my logical mind and the plans already in place. I now wish that I would have followed my intuition that told me to just rest and lay low. Be present with your Grandma, the time with her is so precious and coming to an end.  Had I spent time with my Grandma that evening, that would have been our last one on one time together. Crossroads like that confirm that I need to listen to my intuition, even if I don’t understand it at the time.

The best feeling is when you follow your intuition and you receive a nice surprise that you didn’t know that you needed. In February 2019, as I watched my Alma Mater’s Girls Basketball team go to the State Finals, I missed friends and family in Benton County. I missed the magic and excitement of Indiana Basketball in a small town. That week, I was going through some old papers, and came across a newspaper with my classmates from high school.  Around the same time, I had the desire for sushi. The kind that I wanted was available at the grocery store where I normally don’t shop. It was right after work, and I would usually avoid the after-work crowd.  I thought, “maybe I should go later, or do I really need sushi right now?   It’s going to be really busy, maybe I should just go another day?”  But, I decided to go anyway.  Sushi and bananas were on my short list.  I’d get my items quickly and then be on my way.  I walked in, and went straight for the bananas, focused on picking the best ones. In my peripheral vision, I saw a few moms with kids in their carts.  And then, as the 2 moms talked from across the aisle, I heard my friend’s voice. Could it really be my classmate who I had just seen in my newspaper clipping? Yes, it was!

The year before, I had ran into another classmate from high school and he had mentioned that our classmate lived in the area.  I had intended to connect with her through social media, but hadn’t gotten a chance to as life brought my focus to other things.  I was so happy to see her and give her a big hug. In that moment, it all made sense why I wanted sushi and needed to go to that specific grocery store right then. To see a friend who I hadn’t seen in 18 years, from a town almost 700 miles away. To hear a voice that I hadn’t heard in 18 years, yet I instantly recognized. She had moved recently to a home 3 miles away from me, and that was her normal grocery store.  During this time, I needed to be reminded of how small this world is, and it became clear why I was there. She was a reminder of my friends and family in Indiana, and proved that you are always in the right place at the right time. I have enjoyed reconnecting with her and her family, and am thankful that I followed my stomach’s hunger for sushi!

Think back to a time that you were grateful that you followed your intuition.  Now think of a time when you wished you would have listened to your gut.  If you are like me, you can think of many examples. Maybe it is as simple as sitting in traffic when you knew you should have taken the country roads. Or as fun as calling a friend to hear them say that they were just thinking of you! When we can prove to ourselves the validity of this inner knowing, why would we not follow it?  Why do we let other’s opinions and our idea of what we think we should be doing get in the way of listening to our heart?  There can be many distractions in our lives, and a lot of them are things that we have the control to release. Taking a moment to check in with what we feel is right for us in our next step can pay us dividends.   It’s easy to ignore our intuition when our society favors logic and reason.  But, the next time you have a hunch or feeling, I invite you trust yourself. You already have the answers within you. The truth is in this moment. Practice letting go of what you feel like you should do, and choose what feels best for you. Allow the unseen world to surprise and delight you.  What if your intuition is just waiting for you to follow it?  Why not take a chance and listen to the whisper within?

Choosing Presence over Escape

Choosing Presence over Escape

Presence.  It’s a gift, and to me it means being fully invested in the moment.  It’s listening intently to the person who is speaking to you.  Not thinking about what you will be saying next, or any other distraction that comes up to take space in your mind.  Presence is being fully engaged with all of our senses.  Seeing the beauty in the moment, no matter how hard it is, and not looking for an escape.  Being okay with the unknown that is surrounding us and embracing what we are experiencing in our current reality.

We all have 24 hours in our days, and we get to decide how we spend our time. It’s so easy to zone out, and allow our minds to be racing on a loop of thoughts that do not serve us.  It’s easy to scroll on social media or reach for ice cream when you are bored or upset.   In the moment, it feels like a good option, but usually doesn’t leave us feeling uplifted or energized. How can we use the gift of presence for ourselves and the people in our life? 

The past month, I found myself spending more time on social media than I wanted to, and I realized that I was using it as an escape from my feelings and having to completely experience the now.  When I didn’t want to think about the grief that I was going through, I found that it was easier to distract myself with mindless scrolling.  I didn’t have to feel any sadness or heaviness if I gave my mind somewhere else to go.  Unfortunately, the grief never went away, and I would just end up feeling worse about myself in the comparison/negative news of social media. What if we absorb ourselves in our day to day life instead of finding a getaway? How would we feel?  Possibly more inspired and connected to this world and our loved ones? 

When we are distracted in the present moment, that’s time that we can’t get back.  Time is our most valuable possession, and we each get the choice to decide how we use ours. How does it feel when you are talking to someone, and they are clearly in another world?  It doesn’t feel good, and it makes you feel not so important.  Distracting yourself from your life is the same thing, and gives yourself the same sign that you aren’t important either.  Mary Kay Ash once said that you should imagine each person in your life with an invisible sign that says “Make me feel important.”  How simple is that?  Giving your full and undivided attention to the person in front of you.  Really listening and hearing what is spoken.  Not just listening to their words, but reading their body language as well.   So many people need someone to listen to them, especially in our current times.  Connection is needed now more than ever.  How can you connect with others?  Who has been on your mind who would love to hear from you?

There were many times over the last year that I didn’t want to be present, but I was as in the moment as I could be.  When my Grandma was in the hospital and in home hospice, I didn’t want to be present.  I wanted to be anywhere else, but I also knew that there would be a time that I would miss being there in that moment with my Grandma and our family, even if it was so hard.  I would miss holding her hand, and being so exhausted from all of the sadness and unknown.  And I didn’t want to be present in November when I drove my Dad and I home, and he started playing songs on his phone that he wanted played at his funeral.  I fought back tears and didn’t want to hear the songs or see the meaning of what he was trying to prepare me for, but I also knew as we drove, I would someday miss that moment.  I would want to be in his truck, trying to pretend that I didn’t know what he was telling me that his time on Earth was coming to a close. I didn’t want to be in his truck hearing Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton sing “As I get where I’m going” with my Dad in the passenger seat, but now I would give anything to go back to that drive on the cold, windy day.  Writing these words takes me right back to those very hard moments, but my hope is that in sharing them, someone who may someday be in my shoes can do their best to show up for their loved ones and themselves in this moments.  Is there something in your life you’d rather not deal with and find an escape from?   How can you bring yourself back into the now?

There’s so many ways to become preoccupied, but there’s also ways to bring ourselves back into the moment.  Each moment is a new beginning. My phone is a big distraction for me, and I have added an app to track my screen time which has helped me to see how much time I am really spending on it.   I removed the notifications from a lot of my apps on my phone, and have put it outside of my bedroom when used as my alarm clock.  I started putting to-do items and papers in an inbox, then dealing with them at a certain time instead of always feeling like there was something that needed my attention.  This all is a work in process, but reminding myself to be conscious and aware has helped.  Maybe try making an effort to become more mindful when you drink a glass or water or eat a meal.  In nature, it’s easier for me to be present as I listen to the birds and watch the branches sway in the wind.  I believe that awareness is the first step.  Do you have any tips for being more present in your life?

I encourage you to take a moment to assess your ability to be present for yourself and others. Know that we all have time that we wish we could take back, but we get a blank sheet each day to write our new story.  Being present isn’t always easy, but I believe that it is always worth it. I am choosing to be present instead of looking for an escape in these unknown times. Is there anything in your life that you wish that you were spending less time doing?  What are some ways that you can become engaged while in a conversation?  How could you be more present and show up for yourself and others?

I’m like a bird

I’m like a bird

Written by Tracey Lemming

I ’m like a bird, and you probably are too.  Birds have this intuition to know where to find the best food, and when it’s time to fly south.  One of my favorite movies growing up was “The Mighty Ducks,” about the hockey team who beat the odds and worked together as a team.  They took their signature formation from the birds in the sky in order to be victorious over their stronger opponents. Whenever I see a flying V in the sky, I always stop to take notice.  Amazed about how they have a lead bird, and then when that bird gets tired, it will go to the back and another bird will step in and lead the flock.  They work together for the greater good and common goal. Sometimes I see “stragglers,” but I know that they will catch up with their friends at the next pond, and continue their journey together. 

It’s amazing when we face times of uncertainty, how if we trust our intuition, the right people and circumstances will show up at the perfect time.  Sometimes you just have to take the first step towards what you desire, and then let go and trust.  About 5 years ago, I began to practice yoga on and off.  After my jaw surgery, I couldn’t exercise as rigorously as I was used to, so yoga was a nice way to get a workout in.  I found that I enjoyed how calm and balanced that I felt after a yoga session.  Over the next 4 years, I would jokingly say that I should become a yoga teacher, but usually I would tell my friends that they should become a yoga teacher.  Much easier if someone else does it, and I didn’t really believe that I had the confidence to be in the teacher’s spot.  When I visited my friend’s parents in April 2019, and told them that their daughter should teach yoga and they should get goats for goat yoga, I started to see my pattern of always volunteering someone else to take the risk.  And, I started to think, why not me?  I talked to a friend about attending an upcoming meditation class, and she mentioned how she took a meditation class from her current yoga instructor.  There it was again. Then, I really began to wonder what would happen if I really took the steps towards this desire that I first saw as an impossibility? I checked online at local studios, and saw that there was an intensive summer training coming up at a studio just 3 miles away at the end of the month! What perfect timing! I attended my first class there, and when the instructor quoted my favorite author, I knew that I was in the right place.  Within a few days, I was enrolled for the 200 hour yoga teacher training.  It was great. Even though I missed 2 of the 5 weekends when my Grandma passed away in June of 2019, my teacher set up a time to teach me what I had missed when I returned.  Last September I taught my first yoga class, which was a really rewarding experience.

This last year has brought many ups and downs, and there’s still a lot that I would like to learn about yoga and teaching. I would love to teach yoga more, but I am glad that I took the opportunity when it came up. If I had waited a few months or longer, I may not have been able to go through the in-person training and get my teacher certification.  I had no idea what it would be like to attend the training, or if I would even teach when I went through the training, but I am thankful that I took the time to invest in myself and chose this experience.  I have met a lot of great people, and have been able to share yoga with family and friends.  I learned that “Crow” is my favorite pose, and I am going to start working on “Flying Bird.”

In March 2020, I had the courage to share my first blog post on social media, even though I didn’t know if anyone would read or enjoy my words.  I had the feeling to write, and I created the space and time to take the action.  I still don’t know where it will lead, but that is okay.  It’s all unknown, and I am choosing to keep going.  I am enjoying allowing my creativity to flow, and have received messages of how my words have helped others.  To me, that’s so rewarding and magical, knowing that I can help or inspire others in some way.  I am currently taking a writing course, and looking forward to learning more in this area. If I had not began my blog, I don’t think that I would have realized how much that I really love to write.

So, the next time that you a bird in the sky or hopping around on the ground, notice how unattached they are to the outcome of the moment.  They simply sing because they want to.  They don’t care who hears their tweets, they sing because that’s who they are.  They don’t fly in order to win a race. They simply want to hang out with their friends and family and enjoy the view.  And they always know the best time to flap their wings and soar. Is there something that you’ve been putting off, but have a feeling that it’s time to begin? What if your time to fly is now?

What hurts the most

What hurts the most

By Tracey Lemming

For me, what hurts the most about losing the ones that I love is no longer being able to communicate with them in this physical world.  At least not in the way that I want and expect to.  It’s still having questions, and not being able to pick up the phone and ask them. It’s trying to imagine that for the rest of my life, they will no longer be here physically with me.  Intuitively I know that they are in a better, more peaceful place.  But the knowing that they won’t be here to celebrate the many happy times left in my life is really hard.  Having them protect and guide me from above is comforting, but it’s not the same.  I gained 3 beautiful angels in the last 2 years, but I wish it had been different. Everyone wants more time.

Unfortunately, it’s not different, and it cannot be changed. I was blessed with more time with my Uncle, Grandma, and Dad than some people are able to spend with their loved ones.  I’ve learned many lessons during this time that I may not have learned until later in life had I not experienced this grief, and I am sure that more lessons will still be revealed as time goes on.  Time is promised to no one, and it truly is a gift.  What we choose to do with our time and energy is something that is up to us. I believe that the more time that you can spend with your loved ones and living your purpose, the better.  When you have a pull to do or ask something, just do it.  When you follow your intuition and your passion, you will feel the most happy, and can go to bed feeling that your day was good and meaningful.

Navigating a life that will never be the same is challenging.  It’s looking through new eyes, and learning as you go.  The plan that you had is no longer the plan. It’s learning how to adapt, and accept what cannot be changed. Although I no longer hear my loved ones voices, we can still communicate. Sometimes it’s through dreams, songs, or seeing something that brings back a sweet memory.  I’ve been lucky enough to receive visions of my Uncle and Dad smiling since they have ascended towards the sky, so that helps me to know that they are safe and happy. I try to remember these images and be happy for them when I am feeling sad.

After my Uncle Steve’s passing and when I was back at work, I was finally feeling a bit more like myself. One day, I drove with my convertible top down and listened to my favorite song.  As I parked and grabbed my bags out of my trunk, I noticed a penny in my parking spot behind my back tire.  It hadn’t been there in the morning when I left for work, and I laughed and said “I wonder who this is from” out loud. As I picked up the penny,  I instantly knew.  1971, the year my Uncle graduated from high school, and a nod from him to keep on enjoying the day and doing what makes me happy. I believe that our loved ones and angels leave us pennies from heaven, as they are noted with the words “In God we trust.” They are signs from above letting us know that we are on the right path and loved.   It’s moments like this that you simply know that there is something greater than what meets the eye.

When I returned to my daily life after my Dad’s passing, I noticed that the motion activated solar lantern next to my front door would blink, although it had never blinked before during the few years that I had it.  Normally, it would turn on only when I was walking up my stairs and opening my screen door.  However, now it would blink on and off.  It would even begin blinking when I was still in my car, and walking towards my door.  It was never able to detect motion from that far away before.  I remember crying in my car before I went inside, and looking at my house.  Sure enough, the lantern was blinking to comfort me, even though there was no motion anywhere. I knew that it was my Dad welcoming me home and letting me know that he was okay and he wanted me to be happy, not sad. Even though he is not physically here in my life, he wants to still be here for me. Because I am open to receiving communication and willing to be present, I have been blessed to receive these gifts.  

About a month before my Dad passed away, I had excitedly told him about the “Woodpecker Birds” at my bird feeder and how big they were.  He laughed and teased me because he thought it was funny that I added the word “Bird” to the obvious “Woodpecker”.  Of course a woodpecker is a bird. After my Dad passed away, my coworker was talking about how he would laugh and tease his daughter, and I mentioned how my Dad would do the same to me, and recently laughed about the “Woodpecker birds.”  The next morning was one of those days that I didn’t really want to get out of bed and face the day, but I did, and I asked for a sign from my Dad and strength to keep going.  As I was getting ready, I suddenly heard tapping outside my window.  It startled me, and I looked outside.  You guessed it, Woodpecker Birds.  I laughed as they had never been so loud before or pecked at my house,  and I knew that it was surely my Dad teasing me and laughing again.

The day after my Dad passed away, I was driving towards my parents house and I saw 3 cardinals. I knew that it was my Grandma, Uncle, and Dad saying hello and having a lot of fun together. I believe that cardinals are good luck and visitors from heaven.  It’s very comforting when I hear the cardinals song, and see their beautiful red feathers.

Life will never be the same when you go through any type of loss.  Grief changes you, but I hope that it changes us for the better.  I hope that it makes us more in-tune with ourselves and this world, and more grateful for those in our life who love us. We now know that everything can change any moment, and it’s important to make the best of each day. Some days are better than others, but as we keep going, we are becoming stronger and can pass our wisdom and life lessons onto others.  We can perceive simple signs and moments, and feel the vastness of this universe. What are some ways that you’ve received signs from those on the other side? What have you learned through experiencing grief?

The part of me

The part of me

By Tracey Lemming

Lately, the chorus from Katy Perry’s “Part of Me” has been coming to my mind, over and over again. “This is the part of me, that you’re never gonna ever take away from me.”  You know it, and it’s probably stuck in your head too now!  I believe there is a part of me, and a part of you that no one can ever take away from us.  As we see more of our freedoms being taken away, our soul, or inner world, is the part of us that is always ours.  No one can ever take away our thoughts, feelings, and imagination.

I once read “Man’s search for meaning” by Victor Frankl.  He was a Holcaust survivor, and what I remember most from this book was how even when he was faced with the worst unthinkable circumstances in the Nazi concentration camps, he chose how he reacted, and did not allow outside circumstances to break his spirit. We are all dealt cards in our life, and we get the choice on how we choose to play them.  Do we fold, or do we choose another card, keep playing, and look for the chance for a royal flush?  Do we find meaning in what has showed up in our life?

When my Dad was 45, he was diagnosed with a very rare, stage 4 cancer.  I was 16, and when my parents told me that he had cancer, that was the first time I remember seeing my Dad cry. My parents didn’t tell me that it was stage 4 cancer with little chance of survival, so although I worried, I truly didn’t know the extent of what my Dad was up against until he passed away 20 years later. He didn’t complain about many of the obstacles he faced, including having a feeding tube at least for the last 10 years of his life and losing the use of his right arm due to the radiation.  And because he didn’t complain, I rarely found things to complain about, and have always been able to see the bright side of things.  One of my Dad’s friends spoke at my Dad’s funeral about how he showed up to work even when he didn’t always feel the best, because he knew if my Dad could show up for work when he faced many obstacles, so could he.  It’s amazing, we really don’t know the example that we are setting for others simply by showing up when it would have been easier to not.  What example are you setting for those around you?

My Dad used his VICTORY over cancer and his life’s journey to be an inspiration and mentor to many others.  What he offered to many who faced their own battle with cancer was a great gift, HOPE.  He was able to show others that no matter what you are facing, miracles happen every day.  I believe that because he didn’t complain about his circumstances and used his creativity to find solutions, he was able to keep going when others may have thrown in the towel.  There was a part of him that refused to give up, that always wanted to win.  He was a champion in life, not just in 1972 when his beloved Pine Knots were Sectional Champs in basketball.  Indiana basketball at its finest.  My Dad kept the winning mentality throughout his life, even when part of him may have felt like giving up.   

When my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer, he was given the books “Small Miracles: Extraordinary coincidences of Everyday Life” by Yitta Halberstam and “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson.  I read those books during this trying time, and these titles have become the themes of my life.  I choose to look for meaning in the coincidences that show up in my life. Coincidence is taken from the word coincide, which means to fit perfectly together.   I know that all that we receive is on purpose and in perfect timing.  In the grand scheme of things, many things we see as big deals in the moment truly aren’t worth the stress and energy.  Like anyone, I can get sucked into stress-response cycles, but they usually don’t last too long.  There is a part of me that knows that all of us in this world are connected.  We can easily see division if we look for it, but we can also see stories of strength, unity, and perseverance.

Think about the part of you that no one else can ever take away.  It’s unique, and yours alone. It’s always with you, and in times of uncertainty and doubt, you will always find it within.  Sometimes the endless chatter in our minds may drown it out, but when you take a moment to center yourself and let go of all the distractions, that is when it will appear.  Keep breathing. Keep going.  Know that no matter what uncertainty we all face at this time, there is a part of you that knows your next best step.  There is a part of you that knows that healing and unity are possible.  Embrace this one-of-a-kind part of you, and together these parts of us can illuminate the darkness.  How will you use your light within you?

Death by a thousand cuts

Death by a thousand cuts

Written by Tracey Lemming

It’s slow.  We don’t even know that it is happening.  That feeling of going through each day without any passion.  The mundane routine, the efficiency, meal prepping, working a 9 to 5, watching a few shows on Netflix, and then it’s time to go to bed to wake up and do it all again.  Where is the creativity and excitement we once had?  How do we find the time and energy to live our best life when there’s so much around us draining us?

For many of us, the words of others have become our self-talk. I had a friend in Junior High once call me timid, and for more years than I’d like to admit, I believed her words.  It wasn’t until I stepped out of my comfort zone that I had a coworker call me bold.  Timid to Bold.  Wow, that’s a 180.  I hadn’t ever thought of myself as bold.  Bold is someone who takes risks, speaks her truth, and doesn’t follow the crowd.  The thought of being bold was something that I hadn’t ever contemplated as a reality for myself, but when I did, I realized that I liked that label better than the one of being timid.  The cool thing is, we don’t have to wait for someone else’s approval or confirmation to decide who we want to be.  We have the power to create in each moment the life that we want to lead, and the person that we want to be.  What’s a word that you’d like to be described as?  Write it down, repeat it, and know that you are.

We also don’t have to wait for circumstances to change to be happy or the version of yourself that you want to be.  It’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way, but it takes practice to show up each day willing to focus on the good when it feels as if everything is falling apart.  When my Dad passed away, my friend who had lost her Dad a few years prior sent me a message acknowledging that this time wouldn’t be easy, but asked me to take notice of those around me who shared in my grief and were there to support me and my family.  She was right on both accounts, and when I took a moment to be present, I noticed sweet memories, warm hugs, and acts of kindness being shared.  Being present at this time wasn’t easy, but these words from my friend were a reminder to stay in the moment, and trust that the right people and events would show up at my time at the perfect time.  They always do.

As we all navigate the waters of this new world, take a moment to see yourself as your best version.  What’s something you’d love to try?  Do you envision yourself doing what you are currently doing each day,  or do you see a world of new possibilities?  This landscape is ever changing, and you get to be the architect of your life.  You get to choose the affirmations that you speak to yourselves and others.  You get to decide if you want to die a death by a thousand cuts, or if you want to soar in infinite possibilities.  Which one will you choose?

Compassionate Masking

Compassionate Masking

Written by Tracey Lemming, Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

I recently heard the term “doom scrolling.”  If you have been on social media the last few months, you already know what I’m talking about.  Endlessly scrolling and finding more bad news to consume.   It’s everywhere, and easy to find.  An addiction that can be easily filled with constant scrolling.  One click of an article leads you to another and another, until you realize that the cookies you put in the oven an hour ago are burning. Anyone else baking a lot?

Recently, the mask or not to mask debate has been the “highlight” on social media.  Whichever “side” you are on, you are sure to find sufficient evidence to make the other “side” wrong.  What you look for, you will find.  It’s easy to voice your opinion behind the mask of social media, and see your perspective as the only one.  Taking a moment to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and ask questions takes time and patience, and a lot of us are running low on both during this uncertain and unknown time.

Recently, I was reading my workplace’s guidelines on requesting a flexible work schedule during this time, and it mentioned a reason that a flexible work schedule could be requested was if a person has anxiety wearing a mask.  I thought back to my Dad’s final month on this Earth.  He was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and forced to wear a mask for oxygen.  To most people, it looked like a simple tube that went up his nose and up around his head.  However, my Dad had severe claustrophobia due to receiving the max lifetime radiation 20 years prior.    He had stage 4 cancer in 1999, and received radiation twice a day on his neck area.  During this time he wore a radiation mask to protect his face.  He took the radiation and wore the mask because there were not any other options if he wanted to have a longer life to spend with his friends and family.  However, after his experience wearing the radiation mask, he would get anxious if anything was over his face.  If his shirt got caught on his face while he was taking it on and off, he would feel panic.  I can’t imagine how he felt, but I can have compassion for him.  I could see the fear and the hell that wearing his COPD mask caused him for less than a month, and I can only imagine how he would feel if he was here today.  His voice was soft due to the radiation, and it became harder for him to speak and be heard.  Wearing a mask would have made it even harder for his words to be understood.  If he was here today, his weakened immune system would have made it hard for him to go out in public, but I can’t imagine that he would have been able to wear a mask.  He mentally could not do it.  It was simply too much for him.  I would like to think if anyone ever approached him in public during this time, they would have shown compassion instead of telling him to wear a mask, or talking about how disgusted they were to their friends.  But, it’s hard to tell.

I’ve heard that this pandemic will last a relatively short time, but the effects of this may last a lifetime. The same way that my Dad’s radiation treatments lasted a relatively short time, but the effects stayed with him the rest of his life.  The fear, division, and isolation that we are experiencing can’t be easily forgotten.  Your words and emotions have power, and you may not even know how you have affected someone, especially with so many consuming social media.  Whichever side of this debate you are on, I invite you to take a moment to breathe and consider another perspective before making an attack on anyone.  Seek to understand.  Do you want to affect others with loving or hateful words?  Will you use your words to tear someone down or lift them up?  How can you show compassion during this time?

Sound decisions come in the silence

Sound decisions come in the silence

Written by Tracey Lemming, Photo by David Besh from Pexels

I used to have a habit of overthinking things when it was time to make a decision, big or small.  And sometimes I still do! I’d make lists, research, and talk to loved ones about what they would do.  I’d look outside myself for some sort of validation.  Sitting on the fence for too long can definitely be worse than making a decision, and adjusting if need be.  I didn’t want to make the “wrong decision.”  The question is, is there ever really a wrong decision?

Sometimes we wish that things had gone a different way, but most of the time, we learn and grow.  We pivot, and take knowledge with us to make a better decision next time or help someone else with a new perspective along the way.  We can sulk about the past and what we should have done, or take responsibility for our decision, and see what good it has brought into our life, even if it was just the knowledge to not do that again.  There’s always a bright side.  However we choose to see it, that is our choice, and one more decision that we get to make.

There are times that you just know, and can’t explain why you make a certain decision, even if it looks like a strange idea to outsiders.  It’s called listening to your intuition, and it’s not often taught in our society where logic and facts and figures rule.  A few weeks before graduation at Purdue, I realized that the jobs that I was applying for with my soon-to-be Management major didn’t feel right.  They weren’t exactly what I wanted to do at the time, although I couldn’t explain why not. The thought of staying another year and getting my Accounting degree came to mind.  Probably should have thought about that earlier, but after speaking with my academic advisor, I realized that it was doable.  Taking a summer course and all Accounting courses my Super Senior year would give me a double major, as well as the required 150 credit hours to sit for the CPA exam.  Which I would pass a few years later!  And when I graduated a year later, I couldn’t have been happier and I was excited to take my first job in Accounting.  If I had looked for advice outside of myself, I may have been talked into graduating on time, and I would have missed out with an extra year with my friends!

As time has gone on, I have learned to trust and listen to my own intuition. There’s many times that I didn’t listen, and those were the times that I wished that I had.  Like when my intuition told me to visit my Grandma on a Friday night, but I chose to see a friend instead.  Not knowing that it would be my last weekend with her, I wish I would have listened to my inner wisdom.  But, it’s a lesson to learn and one more reason to trust your own intuition.

I believe that sound decisions come in the silence.  If we can take a moment to breathe, relax, and quiet our mind, this is when our internal guidance usually comes through.  Maybe you have a quiet space to sit in a comfortable chair, or maybe you like to hike and find a space in nature with the warmth of the sun and a gentle breeze.  It could even be a few moments in your car before walking into a home with your spouse and children.  Whatever feels best to you, go with it.  And the more that you can practice this, the louder and quicker your intuition will speak.  It’s a skill that I recommend as it will make your decisions easier.  No more making pros and cons lists, and spending precious energy wondering what if you make the wrong decision.  Checking in with how you are feeling and being open to receive will give you a smoother road on your journey.

Sometimes the guidance that you receive sounds crazy, but those are usually the times that you receive the biggest reward when you follow it. The next time you are faced with a decision, big or small, that you would normally look for advice from others, take a moment to breathe and listen to the silence. Observe your thoughts and any inspiration or nudges that you may receive. And take a moment to reflect, when’s the last time you followed your intuition and it led you to something great? When did you choose to listen to your head instead of your heart? Given the choice, which one would you listen to next time?

I Love you

I Love you

Written by Tracey Lemming, Photo by Laurilyn Farms http://www.laurilynfarms.com/

At the beginning of 2018, I had a dream that something bad happened to my Grandma Fellure.  I can’t even remember it, but it woke me up and gave me a knowing that I needed to tell her that I loved her.  She was my only living grandparent, and I realized that once she was gone, I would miss her and her stories, and our connection to the past. I knew that my Grandma loved me, but the words weren’t often said.  We would talk on the telephone, but as life gets busy, sometimes we forget about those who we love the most, and don’t get the chance to speak as often as we would like.  

So, I called her a few days later.  I worked up the courage to tell her that I loved her.  She kept talking, and I was thinking, boy, maybe she didn’t hear me, or maybe she didn’t want to say it back.  I can’t remember if she said that she loved me too at the end of that conversation, but in the coming phone calls it became the words that we ended with.  ”Thanks for calling, and I love you.” Little did I know that it wasn’t my Grandma would leave this world in 2018, but her son, my Uncle Steve a few short months later.  She needed to hear the words “I love you” and the support of her loved ones.  She no longer had someone to stop by daily and have coffee with her.  I can’t imagine how she felt, knowing that she should have been the one who went first, not her child.  She had lost my Grandpa 19 years prior, but she said that losing a child was the worst.

Grandma got through the winter, and we continued to talk often.  I put in a reminder in my phone to call her frequently.  I always looked forward to the part of the conversation where she told me she loved me. I know she loved that part too because she told my Aunt how we always said “I love you” at the end of our phone calls. My last conversation with my Grandma was at the end of May 2019.  I was excited to tell her about the updates in my life, and how I was going to be starting my yoga teacher training soon.  She told me how proud of me she was for being me and all that I had done in my life.  That wasn’t something that I expected or heard often from her, but I was thankful for our conversation and her expressing this to me.  It meant so much to me at that moment.  I didn’t know that would be our last phone call, and would mean the world to me for the rest of my life.

When my Grandma fell and hit her head a week later, and the doctor’s determined that nothing else could be done, I hopped on a plane to see my Grandma and say my final goodbye.  Thankfully, although Grandma’s communication was limited, we knew that she knew we were with her.  And thankfully, she could still say “I love you.”  The same words that we had said to each other each time we spoke for the last year and a half.  The most important words that you can tell your loved ones.

Maybe you don’t often hear or say those words to some of your loved ones.  You assume that they know.  But, if there’s someone in your life who you haven’t said these words to in awhile or ever, consider telling them how you feel. It takes courage and can feel a bit awkward, as you don’t always know how the recipient will react.  Maybe they will say the words back immediately, or maybe they will keep talking as they weren’t expecting to hear this.  Either way, it doesn’t matter.  What if the words “I love you” were exactly what your loved one needed to hear, or exactly what you needed to say? It only takes a few moments to say these words.

Beauty in the Unknown

Beauty in the Unknown

Written by Tracey Lemming

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

I like to know what to expect.  If I am going somewhere unfamiliar (or even familiar), I like to set my map so I know exactly when I need to leave in order to arrive on time, the best route, and where the traffic may be.  If I’m going to a new restaurant, I like to read the menu online so I’m prepared on what to order, and read the reviews so I know others opinions.

We live in a world where so much can be anticipated, so much can be planned.  I once was talking with my friend Amanda about how most people go to the same 25 places, even though we live in a world with so many options.  We go to the same Target, the same Post Office, and park in the same spots. Think about it. When was the last time you went to a new store or park, just for the fun of it?

Our minds like routines, and we feel like we are more efficient and prepared when we know what to expect.  But where does the growth and beauty lie? It lies in the unknown. It lies in pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone and trying something new.  It’s in the space to explore and learn. After awhile, the unknown becomes our new routine. It becomes our new normal. Then the question is, what next?

Sometimes we choose to try the unknown, but sometimes it’s forced on us.  Our world falls apart as we know longer know the exact path to follow. What once fit, no longer does.  We lose a loved one or suffer a loss, and our world changes. We can’t go back, even though we want to. We are forced to navigate a new path.  The person we were is no longer there, and others don’t always understand. How can they? They are forced to navigate a new path as well, as you become a new version of yourself.  They expect you to act in a familiar way, and your new way of being throws them for a loop as well. Maybe they reach out, maybe they don’t. Maybe they give advice when it’s not asked.  But listening to the wisdom of your own soul is the only knowing that you need. You know that there’s a lesson in this all. You know that your story can help someone, and that even though you can’t always see it, there is beauty in the unknown.